Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Mama Body

Okay, so my body has decided it wants to be pregnant shaped. I don't mean, oh she's still a little pudgy from the baby weight, shaped. I mean, full on 3 months pregnant shaped. And I know that it's weird because I really am a stick shaped person with a heck of a pot belly, but isn't there some unwritten, possibly even written, rule about not asking someone if they're pregnant??? Especially when most of these people KNOW ME and KNOW that I have a 4.5 month old baby boy?! It's gotten to the point where I don't even care if they feel bad, they SHOULD feel bad, I just say, 'Nope, I'm just fat.' and walk away while they try to get their humility up off the floor. Go ahead people, go crawl into a box somewhere and hide. Thanks for reminding me (DAILY) that I am now fat. Do you THINK I don't know?! It's not like I go to put clothes on in the morning and think, 'hmm...that's odd, my pants shrunk.' I can't even wear big clothes to hide it; my belly sticks out past my boobs, and all you girls know that your boobs can make a shirt hang just right and cover up any bulges in the belly area. No luck here any more.

Let me preface (well I guess it's too late for that) that I was huge pregnant. I mean, 'are you having twins? (same lady that asked me if I'm pregnant again by the way)', big. I'll include a crappy pic for evidence. And I think that my internal organs are so freakin' happy that they aren't being kicked and squished any more that they are spreading out on lounge chairs in there. I mean moving around and staking claim to new territory like Oklahoma land grabbers. And my stomach muscles are so stretched and just totally worn out and disinterested in their job, that they are doing nothing to help me force things back where they used to be.
Yes, yes, I know...SIT UPS. Evil I tell you! Don't even think it! It's is pure evil wrong that a new mom who is getting up in the middle of the night and then again at 5am to get ready for work, would have to take 10 minutes out of her sleep to do something so horrible as situps. I protest!

*sigh* Damn it, I'm going to have to aren't I...

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